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Viewing by phone will get you all the info, but with cropped images.)
Is FU 4 U?
We say: F.U. to the World!
Since 1860, when Ermegilda Foxton saw her reflection in the Carl River, she thought, "Wow--it's like me, only wet and wiggly. Wouldn't it be cool to start a school here?" Since then, young people have been reflecting on — and sometimes creating — the great ideas of nearly every field.
Foxton University welcomes students from all nations and most states. It has been an acknowledged leader in the fields of liberal arts, science, technology, horsecraft, languages, engineering, business, communications, medical innovation, and amazing student food service options.
Come study at F.U. and join a long line of alumni/ae (after taking four years of courses, of course, and paying all your fees, and making sure you meet the major and minor requirements--plus a simple psychological profile). Start your future here and your present will be, as our adorable latinx students say, "no problemo." F.U. is 4 U.
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Favorite Courses
For an easy A, consider Associate Professor of Arithmetic Lucy Bumble's course, Numbers Numbers Numbers! Bumble, who recently completed eighth grade, uses bright colors and animal-based graphics to guide students through the complexities of single- and double-digit addition and subtraction so they are able, at the end of the semester, to make change, play dominoes, and count backwards from 99 by 7s. Bumble, seen above, rides her amphibious bike across the River Carl to campus every day.
Humanities Professor Michael Mewkis, above, teaches romance studies across the world. Some call him "The Love Doctor." His classes always have a waiting list. His papers on attraction, attractiveness, and courting habits have drawn praise at numerous professional conferences and raised eyebrows at several police stations. He is an expert on self-love and a motivational speaker at international fetish conventions.
FU Students Discover Youth Elixir
Pictured, from left, is Aribel Schuster ('25), her father Randy Schuster(!!), and Pixie McLaughlin ('25). Aribel and Pixie's biology lab experiment in reversing aging has garnered huge media attention. "My dad was our first test subject," says Aribel, "and since it worked so well on him, we tried it on ourselves. The only drawback is that we can't get on the lab stools by ourselves, and Dad can't see over the steering wheel, so Mom is kinda pissed. But we got a nice grant from a booster seat maker and next we're hoping someone can make us more mac 'n' cheese."
Student Organizations
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Acapella Fellas
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Brew Bros
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Campus Tour Hosts
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Colon Club
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Circle Twirlers
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Cacamorphs
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Deniers Club
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Drama Queens
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Filmers & Watchers
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Fox Droppings (student newspaper)
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Free Hug Coalition
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Interpretive Dance
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LGTBQIARXSTVM
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Legos Legion
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Misinterpretive Dance
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MILFs
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MOFOs
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Nudist Toboggan Squad
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Recovering Archers
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Skanks
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Student Government
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Synchronized Skipping Society
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Thursday Smelling Group
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Tooters
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Tudors
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Tutors
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Virgin Support Group
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Whoopie Pies
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Tryouts for Synchronized Skippers, photo by Hugo 'Burp' Dugan
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ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE (plus style)
See our Schools and Colleges HERE.
Words can only describe our University so much; a visit will let you experience our campus. Learn about our curriculum, our city setting, and how we support our students here at Foxton University. Below (center, seated), vice president Urge Fontopilos greets freshmen during Orientation Week. Her signature snakeskin shirts are copied campus-wide on Administration Suckup Day.
Click on the "FU Schools, etc" above to see a listing of all of our outstanding academic offerings. With so many choices and opportunities for crossdisciplinary studies, at Foxton U, you can major in U. Or You. Or ewe. [Ewwww.]
OPEN HOUSE & CAMPUS VISITS
Experience proves that 73% of those who visit our FU campus think about applying. The other 27% think about airplanes, scuba diving, or pancakes. We encourage you to come see the campus and find people just like you--or not at all like you--or something like you but without that...um...you know.
Anyway, we have visitors from every state and numerous countries (not always on purpose, but please smile at them anyway). More than 40% of campus visitors are parents and another 23% hope to be within 24 hours of their visit. See the dorms, classrooms, labs, athletic facilities, and the subway trolleys that work at 35% of the time. Be sure and leave time to tour Greater Foxton itself, a great city with numerous bars, colorful 'street' people, adorably confusing street signs, and historical wonders. Come see for U self.
Foxton Blue Foxes are fearsome and sometimes feral athletes. Above, center, FU defenseman Archie Wonkle deftly dominates an obviously terrified red-shirted opponent. photo by Jill Birdnest
VARSITY & CLUB SPORTS
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Basketball
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Dodgeball (Club)
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Equestrian
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Field Hockey
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Flag Football (Club)
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Foosball
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Hockey
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Leapfrog
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Nerding
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Rowing
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Soccer
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Softball
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Swimming
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Tag & Red Rover (Club)
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Track and Field and Stream
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Wrestling (Coed)
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Students Talk About F.U.
"FU was my safety school, but since I've been here and made two friends and passed almost all my courses, it is definitely moving up my list, to probably, 7th favorite." Archie, Junior, Tuna, GA
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"I was looking for a big city feel, and frankly I appreciate any kind of feel, but FU is easy to spell." Jon, Freshman, Paja, MA
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"I heard this was a party school, and, as a babe (obviously), I get all the guys and girls I want. (And Student Health Services is very discrete, if you know what I mean.)" Janine, Sophomore, Ponytail, NJ
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"When I say something amazing and someone asks, 'Where on earth did you learn that?' I just say 'FU.'" Sheila, Senior, Paris Talsis, France
Foxton University APPLICATION FORM
Become a Foxy Foxtonian
Please fill out your Application carefully. Be sure to fill in each area.
To improve your chance of acceptance, application should include freshman year tuition, room & board ($80,017) via credit card info below.
All others, submit $500 app fee.