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Is FU 4 U?
We say: FU to the World!
Since 1860, when Ermegilda Foxton saw her reflection in the Carl River, she thought, "Wow--it's like me, only wet and wiggly. Wouldn't it be cool to start a school here?" Since then, young people have been reflecting on — and sometimes creating — the great ideas of nearly every field.
Foxton University welcomes students from all nations and most states. It has been an acknowledged leader in the fields of liberal arts, science, technology, horsecraft, languages, engineering, business, communications, artistic pursuits, medical innovation, coed dorm revelations, and amazing student food service options.
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Come study at FU and join a long line of alumni/ae (after taking four years of courses, of course, and paying all your fees, and making sure you meet the major and minor requirements--plus a simple psychological profile). Start your future here and your present will be, as our adorable latinx students say, "no problemo." FU is 4 U.
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Favorite Courses
For an easy A, consider Associate Professor of Arithmetic Lucy Bumble's course, Numbers Numbers Numbers! Bumble, who recently completed eighth grade, uses bright colors and animal-based graphics to guide students through the complexities of single- and double-digit addition and subtraction so they are able, at the end of the semester, to make change, play dominoes, and count backwards from 99 by 7s. Bumble, seen above, rides her amphibious bike across the River Carl to campus every day.
Humanities Professor Michael Mewkis, above, teaches romance studies across the world. Some call him "The Love Doctor." His classes always have a waiting list. His papers on attraction, attractiveness, and courting habits have drawn praise at numerous professional conferences and raised eyebrows at several police stations. He is an expert on self-love and a motivational speaker at international fetish conventions.
FU Students Discover Youth Elixir
Pictured, from left, is Aribel Schuster ('25), her father Randy Schuster(!!), and Pixie McLaughlin ('25). Aribel and Pixie's biology lab experiment in reversing aging has garnered huge media attention. "My dad was our first test subject," says Aribel, "and since it worked so well on him, we tried it on ourselves. The only drawback is that we can't get on the lab stools by ourselves, and Dad can't see over the steering wheel, so Mom is kinda pissed. But we got a nice grant from a booster seat maker and next we're hoping someone can make us more mac 'n' cheese."
Pursue your dream from among our numerous outstanding academic offerings. With so many choices and opportunities for cross-disciplinary studies, at Foxton U, you can major in U. Or You. Or ewe. [Ewwww.]
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SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES
School of Art, Music, Dance, Drama & Tears
College of Computing and "Customer Support"
School of Educatorialists
College of Engineering Solutions
School of Equestrian and Husbandrial Etudes
College of Factual Media
School of Health and Vegan Sciences
The Notorious Becksta P School of Bidness and Personal Hygiene
School of Legal Studies & Subterfuge
School of Medical, Dental & Nursical Practices
School of Sciences & Truths
Stars, Czars, Scars & Jars
School of Theological Absolutism
Wine
NON-DEGREE PROGRAMS
Evening Studies & Sleep Lab
Prussian Percussion Discussion
​Mars
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RESEARCH INSTITUTES
Aurora Borealis
Alternative Governments Institute
Biological Defense Laboratory
Flesh Wounds Institute
Center for Hysterics
The Honker Center
Your Mother​​
Student Organizations
Tryouts for Synchronized Skippers. Photo by Hugo 'Burp' Dugan
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Acapella Fellas
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Brew Bros
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Campus Tour Hosts
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Colon Club
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Circle Twirlers
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Cacamorphs
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Deniers Club
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Drama Queens
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Filmers & Watchers
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Fox Droppings (Student Newspaper)
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Free Hug Coalition
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Interpretive Dance
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International Hombres & Kvinnor
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LGTBQIARXSTVM+++
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Legos Legion
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Misinterpretive Dance
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MILFs
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MOFOs
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Nudist Toboggan Squad
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Recovering Archers
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Skanks
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Student Government
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Synchronized Skipping Society
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Thursday Smelling Group
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Tooters
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Tudors
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Tutors
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Virgin Support Group
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Whoopie Pies​​
Students Talk About FU
"FU was my safety school, but since I've been here and made two friends and passed almost all my courses, it is definitely moving up my list, to probably, 4th favorite." Archie, Junior, Tuna, GA
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"I was looking for a big city feel, and frankly I appreciate any kind of feel, but FU is easy to spell." Jon, Freshman, Paja, MA
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"I heard this was a party school, and, as a babe (obviously), I get all the guys-- and girls--I want. (And Student Health Services is very discrete, if you know what I mean.)" Janine, Sophomore, Ponytail, NJ
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"When I say something amazing and someone asks, 'Where on earth did you learn that?' I just say 'FU!'" Sheila, Senior, Paris Talsis, France
Foxton University APPLICATION FORM
Become a Foxy Foxtonian
Please fill out your Application carefully. Be sure to fill in each area.
To improve your chance of acceptance, application should include freshman year tuition, room & board ($80,017) via credit card info below.
All others, submit $500 app fee.